Friday, March 26, 2010


I watch the waves and breakers as they fold into themselves
and then crash uncontrollably atop one another...
It comes into one's mind that they may be trying to escape.
from something on a deeper level.....
than just what can be seen.
Trying to escape from something....of immense power.
Or someone of immeasurable magnitude.
A search of the tangible...a sea animal? A storm?
A search of my tangible...The Sovereign Lord...
His Word says that He is omnipotent, it also says that He...
has journeyed to the gates of hell.....He is it's creator
His word says that He has journeyed to the places of the storehouses...
of the ice and hail that he uses for times of war and battle, He,
is their creator..........
His word says many wonderful and captivating things about Him.
That He roams the deepest depths of the sea floor....
He walks them powerfully
In their massive pitch black barren and
bold beauty.
His Holy Word, The Bible, His authorized Autobiography
says in three simple words " God is Love"
Deep calls to Deep, the oceans call
around the world to one another in unison as He walks beneath them as a
mighty force that is all together real, to say
"The Lord is Here"
Deep calls to Deep

Saturday, March 20, 2010


It seems so elusive to me, having a baby. One to call my very own. I am obsessed.....I think about it constantly. It hovers over me, these thoughts and desires and they let go of me. I want a child, very desperately. I know that most people would say that the best way to raise a child is in a two parent household. But single mothers do it all of the why can't I? As a single father. I want to care and treat a little baby so special and precious the way that it should be treated. I would love to have a baby girl, they are so adorable. Except when they hit the years when they start to borrow all of your stuff and then you can't find a thing....and boys?! Let me find a boy even shaking HANDS with my daughter and look out man, forget about it, it's on!! I am of the age where parenting seems like an insurmountable challenge, yet also seems to hold within itself a lifelong reward of achievement and accomplishment. of Having had the privilege to shape and mold a child as a blank slate to be bold, bright, beautiful intelligent, brave and unchallengeable as an adult ready to take on the world....that may turn out to be living off of you for the rest of your life. But as much as I want to marry Mrs right, not Mrs right now....and have my own biological child, it's becoming clearer to me that it's about mercy, not sacrifice. That's what God himself cares about. The choice of a potential single father, let's see, should I be merciful and take in an orphaned or unwanted baby that no one wants and give it all the love that I can give my baby, as it will, become mine? or Go through tons of sacrifice, find the right girl, fertility tests, ovulation calendars, ultrasounds, those stupid breathing baby birth exercise classes that never work and go out the window just like the money you paid for them once your wife's labor starts! The list goes on and on and on and then there can be some unforeseen stuff! I'm absolutely NOT saying it's better to adopt as a single parent, but sometimes there are factors and variables that affect your life that you unfortunately have no control over. I do believe that one way or the other The Lord will bless me and let me have my way when he sees that I am ready, but it's not my time yet. It's no consolation, it doesn't stop the yearnings that I have. Every time I see a parent and child I think longingly, that they should be me, I wish that were me, why isn't that me? But I have faith that one day my friends, that it WILL be me. Until then I'm waiting with baited breath. With my luck the child that God blesses me with in whichever way he decides will have their driving days come, and there's just no way I'll deny them because, hey, that's my kid asking Daddy! If it's my daughter, I don't care if some dude gets a pool cue in his eye, she is NOT taking him to the hospital!

Friday, March 19, 2010


You know I had this idea in my head
since yesterday about writing something very impacting to all those who read it, even me. But then today, earlier today I realized that I was forcing it. I wasn't letting it flow. And that's not like me. So I've decided to just let myself flow.On Sunday someone extremely close to me went on a vacation. But not a word, not a peep, not a call not a letter when they reached their destination....miss me? Naw
I'm not looking forward to her return cause something strange is going on. The passages of the Bible have always mesmerised me. Especially the ones in the old testament. I've memorized some of the Bible and have just finished the 65 books of the Bible in order. I just did a verse in Hosea6:6 "For I desire mercy not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings". That passage moves and inspires me. He wants us to be merciful like he is and he would rather us acknowledge him, as if to say, "give him props", by avoiding evil at all costs...than give him burnt offerings. Now, in the old testament a burnt ( lamb, or bull ) offering is what the priest would offer up to God to atone for after you'd sinned. ie; an apology for sinning and asking him to forgive you which is what we do now in our day and age. I could go on and on, like I want to get married to the girl that's perfect for me, and have some kids, and get in better shape, and how I want us both to worship God together etc etc and all of that stuff but I've written enough..... for now......

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Take me Away

Take me away to be where you are
I will let myself become another man so that worry will fall at our feet and cause not even a peep

not even a stir....
nothing to get in the way of our fantastic voyage!
I desire you, I desire your spirit to come to me and fall round about me like powdery sweet confectioners sugar on a freshly and perfectly prepared desert

Fit for Royalty

Embrace me my love and let us travel to places unseen.....take me to places that I have never been to
Because I have never been anywhere.
No where but here, here, in the place that I call home. This little island called New York City. It is so fabulous wonderful and captivating that I never wanted to travel outside its mystical borders....but now I do

I am prouder than proud to be one of the chosen few in the world to say that I was born and raised here! This is my city!
My culture! My heritage! it is my heart!,Every beat of that muscle within my chest dominates me and fuels my blood.... these New yorkers are my people!!

But the time for a change has come. I want to go somewhere and say that I've been there wherever "there" happens to be.
So take me and let's go.
Plane.Bus.Ship.Car.Carriage.Skateboard.Bicycle.Horse.On Foot.Pedicab.Cargo Truck.Minivan.

Whatever way you wish. Whenever you wish. However you wish.
I'm game

Let's go

Monday, March 15, 2010

Rich Man Poor Man....I'd rather be Poor

I am more, I am more, I am more

I am more that just a good day or a bad day, I am more that just an empty cup, or a cup of change, Whether that cup be from starbucks or somewhere else....

I am more, I am, As truer than true can be
I am more.

I am more that what I can or cannot do with my body.....I am so much more than this.
I have proven this to many over the years, but they, as you, stop and stare and look and point and gesture and think thoughts and then say things that make me into what I am not.....less.....

But I am not less than you think I am
I am sick of what you think
Who cares what you think
I don't care.........what you think

My love overflows into your life as one who has been touched
But do you care? Ahhh. Stop and think carefully

Before you answer
You say you care
and you do like you care

But that's just it. You care, you don't love
Or do you?

I am more, I am more, I am more
I am more than clean clothes, I am more than having enough food or a hot meal
I am more than a beard, a messy unkempt head of hair......or, a shaved head
I am more than what you want me to be so that I'll be accepted by you and therefore make you happy
But that's the problem with you, you would rather see what you aren't getting

Than what you are getting

I am more

Friday, March 12, 2010

One of my Sundays

Today it was STORMING!!!!! I left my house in Ridgewood Queens this morning to go to Church and dove right into the maelstrom. No umbrella of course because I was wearing my newly waxed Aussie Outback hat (a gift from my friend Ron of about 4 years ago!! Imagine, Just wearing it now.) but it's typical for me. I'll buy or get something and not use it for a looooong time. Fortunately for me the train is only a short walk from me so I was there before you know it. then off to Manhattan! The ride was short because I was going over my flashcards of the books of the Bible. The trains were pretty empty,(always an added plus) and I felt so cooooool in my Indiana Jones hat!! Church was great, the message was really good.

It focused primarily on How we as Christians are a work in progress, not a finished work and we must remember that other wise we fall into trouble. God is continually working on us as Christians...Philippians1:3-6 " I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this THAT HE WHO BEGAN A GOOD WORK IN YOU WILL CARRY IT ON TO COMPLETION until the day of Christ Jesus... It isn't like OK, you get the word, you get baptised, you get the holy Spirit and that's it, your done! No! The Lord will carry us through our lives as we obey his word as works in progress. We're not finished yet

Had a fantastic time in talking with all of my friends after church. My friend charles. I call him military charles cause he was in operation freedom and he's really young ribbed me and asked me "how many cows did you have to kill for that hat!!??" I immediately responded...."two heffas'!!" to which he replied "Oh it's rump leather anyway" Yuck Charles. Naahh I knew he was kidding.

So in the meantime I'd been watching these two mint lighters on ebay....I won 'em both!! That just capped it off for me. God is full of blessings although he may not be ready to bless you with what your asking him for. He may never. But appeal to His mercy.... Right now I'm very sick, and I've been asking him for healing for years. It's coming slowly..... My Aunt reminded me today that she doesn't know anyone that's had their prayers answered with so many yes's from God in succession. And she's right. I am blessed, with no reson to complain.