it's only love that gets you through....

DEEP CALLS TO DEEP

I watch the waves and breakers as they fold into themselves

and then crash uncontrollably atop one another...

It comes into one's mind that they may be trying to escape.

from something on a deeper level.....

than just what can be seen.

Trying to escape from something....of immense power.

Yes

Or someone of immeasurable magnitude.

Yes

A search of the tangible...a sea animal? A storm?

A search of my tangible...The Sovereign Lord...

His Word says that He is omnipotent, it also says that He...

has journeyed to the gates of hell.....He is it's creator

His word says that He has journeyed to the places of the storehouses...

of the ice and hail that he uses for times of war and battle, He,

is their creator..........

His word says many wonderful and captivating things about Him.

That He roams the deepest depths of the sea floor....

He walks them powerfully

In their massive pitch black barren and

bold beauty.

His Holy Word, The Bible, His authorized Autobiography

says in three simple words " God is Love"

Deep calls to Deep, the oceans call

around the world to one another in unison as He walks beneath them as a

mighty force that is all together real, to say

"The Lord is Here"

Deep calls to Deep

BABY

It seems so elusive to me, having a baby. One to call my very own. I am obsessed.....I think about it constantly. It hovers over me, these thoughts and desires and they refuse....to let go of me. I want a child, very desperately. I know that most people would say that the best way to raise a child is in a two parent household. But single mothers do it all of the time...so why can't I? As a single father. I want to care and treat a little baby so special and precious the way that it should be treated. I would love to have a baby girl, they are so adorable. Except when they hit the years when they start to borrow all of your stuff and then you can't find a thing....and boys?! Let me find a boy even shaking HANDS with my daughter and look out man, forget about it, it's on!! I am of the age where parenting seems like an insurmountable challenge, yet also seems to hold within itself a lifelong reward of achievement and accomplishment. of Having had the privilege to shape and mold a child as a blank slate to be bold, bright, beautiful intelligent, brave and unchallengeable as an adult ready to take on the world....that may turn out to be living off of you for the rest of your life. But as much as I want to marry Mrs right, not Mrs right now....and have my own biological child, it's becoming clearer to me that it's about mercy, not sacrifice. That's what God himself cares about. The choice of a potential single father, let's see, should I be merciful and take in an orphaned or unwanted baby that no one wants and give it all the love that I can give my baby, as it will, become mine? or Go through tons of sacrifice, find the right girl, fertility tests, ovulation calendars, ultrasounds, those stupid breathing baby birth exercise classes that never work and go out the window just like the money you paid for them once your wife's labor starts! The list goes on and on and on and then there can be some unforeseen stuff! I'm absolutely NOT saying it's better to adopt as a single parent, but sometimes there are factors and variables that affect your life that you unfortunately have no control over. I do believe that one way or the other The Lord will bless me and let me have my way when he sees that I am ready, but it's not my time yet. It's no consolation, it doesn't stop the yearnings that I have. Every time I see a parent and child I think longingly, that they should be me, I wish that were me, why isn't that me? But I have faith that one day my friends, that it WILL be me. Until then I'm waiting with baited breath. With my luck the child that God blesses me with in whichever way he decides will have their driving days come, and there's just no way I'll deny them because, hey, that's my kid asking Daddy! If it's my daughter, I don't care if some dude gets a pool cue in his eye, she is NOT taking him to the hospital!

FLOW

You know I had this idea in my head
since yesterday about writing something very impacting to all those who read it, even me. But then today, earlier today I realized that I was forcing it. I wasn't letting it flow. And that's not like me. So I've decided to just let myself flow.On Sunday someone extremely close to me went on a vacation. But not a word, not a peep, not a call not a letter when they reached their destination....miss me? Naw
I'm not looking forward to her return cause something strange is going on. The passages of the Bible have always mesmerised me. Especially the ones in the old testament. I've memorized some of the Bible and have just finished the 65 books of the Bible in order. I just did a verse in Hosea6:6 "For I desire mercy not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings". That passage moves and inspires me. He wants us to be merciful like he is and he would rather us acknowledge him, as if to say, "give him props", by avoiding evil at all costs...than give him burnt offerings. Now, in the old testament a burnt ( lamb, or bull ) offering is what the priest would offer up to God to atone for after you'd sinned. ie; an apology for sinning and asking him to forgive you which is what we do now in our day and age. I could go on and on, like I want to get married to the girl that's perfect for me, and have some kids, and get in better shape, and how I want us both to worship God together etc etc and all of that stuff but I've written enough..... for now......